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How To Make Female Friends


Catty. Crazy. Those are some of the words you hear when women discuss other women in terms of friendships. The prevailing thought is that women can’t be friends. It’s said that women are too competitive and too combative to really get close. All of this is very untrue! It all depends on how you look at female friendship. What’s your value system pertaining to them? There’s a ton of value on women getting and sustaining a relationship with men, but very little on female bonding. I’m here to let you know that contrary to mass popular belief positive, loving peer relationships are possible and needed. Think of all the times you had it rough in life. Who was there for you? Nine times out of ten it was another woman that was there to see you through those dark moments. Whether it was your mom, sister, aunt, cousin, or friend, I’m willing to wager that some woman helped you out, a lot. I’m also willing to wager you wouldn’t have made it through without that help. Even if it was a woman you didn’t know or weren’t close to that happened you help you in the moment. You see, friendships and relationships can take on many forms. Just because your mother has the title of mom doesn’t mean she isn’t your friend. It’s just that we don’t view our close circles the same as we do quote unquote “friendships.” The moments when you doubted yourself or felt you couldn’t cope I’ll bet someone of your own sex picked you up. It may be that you didn’t see it or value it. As women we are taught negative stereotypes about our relationships with one another, and lack thereof, extremely early on. Those negative views become ingrained in us until they become our values, and then those values are reflected in our lives. I hear a lot of women say l, “I can’t be friends with (expletive)!” Or, “Uh uh, women gossip too much!” Or, do this or that too much. All the while those same women do value their male relationships. Whenever I hear someone say something like this I challenge them to ponder on whether or not they experience a lot of self hatred, due to those very same negative stereotypes they’ve heard and harbor about women. Usually there’s a lot of negative self talk going on. The next time you think you can’t be friends with women or if you don’t have any close female relationships, I suggest you look at yourself, what you value, and the negatives you think about yourself. Because when you talk badly about women you’re really talking about yourself. Because you are a woman.  

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